The holy grail of happiness…

Are you happy? It’s a question we all get asked from time to time. It’s become a concept, rather than a feeling, and it is banded around in memes, inspirational quotes, adverts and tv shows. It’s a state of emotion that we are all constantly striving for.

But, in this modern, complicated era, do we even know how to be happy anymore? There are so many conflicting messages – how are we meant to decipher them all, and work out how to really be happy?

We’re told ‘money won’t make you happy.’ But have you noticed that this narrative is normally shared by people who have plenty of it? I mean, give me a million pounds and I’m pretty sure I could raise a smile. However, this narrative is supported by research and various studies which seemingly prove that after you have reached a certain level of income, your level of happiness no longer scales with your bank balance. I suppose that comes down to the old saying ‘more always wants more’, it’s our most basic instinct. Despite these studies, there is definitely something in the freedom that having money allows – the less stress or worry = a happier person, right? I’ll be sure to update you if I ever win the lotto.

We’re constantly told that to be happy, we need to be grateful and content with what we have, but wait a minute, don’t settle or you will never truly be happy. People say, you’ll be happier if you have realistic expectations and goals, but also that the happiest of people dream big. They tell you – be you, be real, be authentic but that’s paired with ‘hey, just fake it until you make it!’

Is it any wonder depression in younger people is on the rise? How on earth are any of us meant to make sense of these mixed messages, and the speed in which society changes. The world pulls you from pillar to post on a daily basis, telling you one week that this way of living or this item will make you happy, but the next week, it changes and it is something completely different. It’s like our happiness is constantly being held to ransom, and it’s one we will never be able to pay.

So, if you’ve read this far and are expecting a definitive answer to the holy grail of happiness, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t have it.

The one thing I can tell you, that like treasure, happiness is completely unique to you. What makes you happy, might not touch the surface for someone else.

Don’t listen to what society tells you should, could or would make you happy. In a world driven by influencers all over social media, don’t let that control what you aim for, focus internally and work out what is key for you. Stop looking for what might be “cool” and don’t strive for someone else’s happy, because it won’t be sustainable.  

So, is it possible to figure out what makes us happy in this world of mixed messages?

This year, I’ve started a bullet journal, somewhere I can document my thoughts and feelings, but most importantly, I can keep track of the things that have made me happy. Whether it’s the simple things like going for a run or having a coffee with a friend, or bigger life decisions or changes… by tracking my happiness I can work out what’s important to me, and do more of that…

I’m off to find my happy, go find yours.